I-view with G'Zar Bartender Songweavers tavrn

[Zugarok]

Ellindar had been in some rough places throughout Norrath but they all seemed to pale before the atmosphere he encountered when he entered the Songweavers Tavern. The place smelled like a mix of old popcorn/beer/sweat and a little blood mixed in. When he gazed around he saw a mix of all the “intelligent” species of the planet. From the hoidy-toidy robed Erudite at a corner stall to the Blue Iksar Monk pulling his Troll Companion from his barstool. And the place itself…what a dump..the walls were so full of holes..the Elf was amazed that the sun didn’t shine through. He was here though to do an interview and he wasn’t about to fail at the task at hand.

Ellindar: Barkeep, you have a minute or two? I’d like to interview you, if I may.

The barkeep barely acknowledged the elf, he was too busy watching two Ogres near the door who looked like the might square off in a minute or two.

“Get your smelly asses outta here, if you gonna carry on and such!” He yelled at the Ogres.

The Ogres stepped out the door.

Ellindar: Excuse me! Might I have a moment, I will make it worth your while.

The Elf reached into his tunic and put a red velvet satchel on the bar.

Barkeep: What do you want?

Ellindar: A tankard of your best will do, and a moment of your time. I’d like to ask you about your clientele. This seems like a rather interesting place.

Barkeep: It’ll cost you.

Ellindar: Tunar is no object, name your price.

Barkeep: 500 Tun.

Ellindar: Done. Now, what is your name?

Barkeep: G’zar.

Ellindar: I see, so, G’Zar, quite an unusual name, If I do say, you seem to have seen some interesting folk in this place. Would you mind telling me some tales?

G’Zar started to scratch his head, looking at his finger every couple of scratches, which Ellindar politely ignored.

G’zar: Well there used ta be those self-styled rulers.

Ellindar: Oh really, what were their names.

G’Zar: The first was Antonia Katta…she didn’t really stop in here very often. She claimed to be the long lost ruler of Qeynos. I didn’t believe her, though some of the other places may have had a lot of changing rulers, the Bayles have ruled in Qeynos for as long as I have heard.

Ellindar: So, what was the premise of her grand claim of royalty.

G’Zar: Let me think (scratches his head again), she said something about some Combine Empire or something that would rise up again. Zgruk (motioning to a troll at the end of the bar) thought she was a little loopy. And that is saying a lot. Coming from a troll.

G’Zar motioned that he would be right back, then went about filling the empty glasses along the bar.

(to be cont.)

[Zugarok]

Ellindar: Was there any indications that she truly was an Empress, or was she just some poor deluded fool recently escaped from an Enchanter’s spell?

G’Zar: Well she did have some cronies with her…some bard Notwise, and a Ranger named Keiyel, who treated her like she was some kind of Princess.

Ellindar: Interesting, what happened to them.

G’Zar: I’m really not sure, word is that they went to search a vision from that dragon that spouts that kind of crap…what was his name, again…?

Ellindar: Trakanon?

The iksar, who had amazingly succeeded in getting the troll to his feet glared at the elf at the sound of that name. Ellindar looked nonchalant and coughed loudly into a balled fist.

G’Zar: Yeah, I think that was it’s name, I try not to learn too much about the Dragons, not good for business you know.

Ellindar: You mentioned that there were those self styled rulers, from such a statement I can imply that there was more than one.

The elf flipped a tunar towards the barkeep and scribbled furiously on his notescroll.

G’Zar: Aye, there was more than one. That Antonia was a human…and the second was one of those Teir ‘Dal. Not good tippers those blue elves. Except that one o’er there Slyfoot.

Slyfoot, whose head was resting on the bar several spots away waveringly raised her flagon and then let it slam back down on the bar, ale splashing out as it landed. Ellindar started at the mention of one of his ancestral enemies, but smirked when the barkeep mentioned the lack of tipping…he refused to play engagements in Neriak for the same reason.

Ellindar: And who was this might I ask, not one of those Thex sisters?

G’Zar: Yea, that’s it…Krystis Thex was what she called herself. She had quite a high opinion of herself, I might add…she felt, that just because she had another house in her pocket..

Ellindar: Another house of the Dark Elves?

G’Zar: yea…what were the called…<br>
Ellindar: U’edne?

G’Zar: no that’s not it.

Ellindar: M’Zors?

a groan ‘uggghhhhh’ came from Slyfoots resting head

G’Zars: nope it was, Lekl…Lekr..

Ellindar: L’eCelare?

G’Zar: That’s it..and one time she showed up here with those two Beasts you hang out with as well.

Ellindar: Zug and Rhab?

G’Zar: And that human Necromancer.

“………Bornus…..ZZzzzZZZzzzZZZzz” came from Slyfoot.

Ellindar: What happened to her, I have spent a bit of time here of late and have never run into such a decrepit soul?

G’Zar: Dunno, maybe you should ask those beasts. Me heard that she ordered one of kin around one too many times and the rogue Shadowshank stabbed her squarely between the shoulderblades.

Ellindar: Hold on again I need another scroll.

the elf flipped 5 more coins at the bartender.

[Slyfoot M'Zors]

(ROFL ZUG! I love the Slyfoot comments......bornus..ZZZZzzzzZZZZ LOL! I love you, keep it up.)

[Zugarok]

Ellindar pulls another scroll from a bag and lays it on the bar. He is a little annoyed that there seemed to be a wet spot from condensation but quickly gets over it.

Ellindar: So, tell me about the one that sleepy head over there alluded to.

The elf rolled his wrist to the left, thumb pointing at the snoring Slyfoot.

G'Zar: Oh, you don't really want to hear about him.

G'Zar picked up a glass and started drying it in a circular motion with a small white towel.

Ellindar: Sure I do barkeep.

the elf flips a couple more tunar at the barkeep who struggled to catch them without dropping the glass.

G'Zar: Ok, I will talk about the human. What a wayward soul he was. He wandered in here several times always seeming to search for something.

Ellindar: What was he looking for?

G'Zar: I really try not to talk to those necromancers you know. Don't want to get on their bad side. I want to lie in my grave til I turn to dust, if you know what I mean.

Ellindar: I understand, but you said that he had been here in the company of the dog Thex. What do you know about that?

G'Zar: Like I was saying, he always seemed to be searching for his place. He claimed to be the son of some Lord near Wyndhaven. Personally, I thought he was a bit mad, myself.

Slyfoot mummbles for a second....ZZzzZZzzz

G'Zar: Anyway, it seemed that he had taken up with this Krystis, and had accompanied her to the dark elf hole in the ground. That's the last I seen 'em.

Ellindar: So a human trusted a dark elf. Humans always amaze me.

Slyfoot slides off her stool and lands on the sticky floor, lying on her side still snoring. The spectacle causing some of the patrons to chortle. Ellindar looks at her prone figure and opens his mouth wide.

G'Zar: Don't worry about her, she does that at least once or twice a month.

Ellindar slides from his chair and lifts the female Teir 'Dal back to her stool, folding her arms gently on the bar and placing her head in their crux.

Slyfoot: BooOorrrnuuuusss.....ZZzzZZ

Ellindar: Right-O. Now, tell me about the gnomes.

G'Zar: They are not allowed in here anymore after the incident with the female...

The bard sighed...and looked through his pack for another scroll, but seemed not to find one.

Ellindar: Hold that thought

He tossed his bag onto the bar and walked out...looking for a place to buy more parchment.

[Slyfoot M'Zors]

( I am loving this Zug, keep it up. Excellent writting! I can barely wait for Ellidar to get that next piece of parchment! )

[Zugarok]

a clearly irritated Ellindar walks back to his previous stool and sits. He shakes his head and smirks as he glances at the growing puddle of spittle that Slyfoot's head is resting in on the bar. He places a clean parchment on the bartop and waves to G'Zar. G'Zar lopes over when he sees the flamboyant elf push three tunar coins to the inner lip of the bar

Ellindar: So, about those gnomes?

G'Zar: I told you elf. They aint allowed in here anymore!

Ellindar: Could you elaborate?

G'Zar: <grunts>

voice: I might be able to shed a little light on that subject kinsman.

Ellindar looks behind him and sees the image of Jwiz the grand, slipping past a few dangerous looking trolls and grasping for the stool on his right.

Ellindar: Master J! It's been awhile since I have seen you around. Frequenting these unsavory joints again I see.

G'Zar gives a slight glare at the bard and wanders down the bard to fill the cups of two men that look like woodsmen who have just sat at the end of the bar.

Jwiz: Unsavory it may be, but the ale is quite divine.

Jwiz glances around looking for a tankard and sees the mostly full glass sitting in Slyfoot's unconscious grasp.

Jwiz: You won't be needing this.

Jwiz grabs the mug and returns to his stool

Slyfoot: zzzZZzzZZzzz...

Jwiz: Now, where were we?

Ellindar: how did you get all those bumps on your head?

Jwiz: That's a different story. We were talking about...

Ellindar: The gnomes. Zugarok and Rhabuka miss their friends and went to great lengths to ask all the ogres they came across if they had eaten them.

Jwiz: laughs No no no. They haven't been eaten, though their current whereabouts escape me.

Ellindar: Then what about the incident that, that lout, G'Zar alluded too?

G'Zar coughed and started washing some cups.

Jwiz: Well, there was this time when my brother (Don't get me started) came here with Cephius and Bubbeltroubl. He wanted to show them that he had found the recipe to turn wheat into sugar through some alchemical mumbojumbo. Cephius, wanted to show off his newest elementaling as well, but never got to...

Ellindar: Why not?

Jwiz: Because of what happend next. Jalc showed his formula to Bubbeltroubl and she immediately wanted to try it for herself...

Ellindar: And?

G'Zar stopped washing his glasses and moved over to the two elves.

G'Zar: Let me get you two a couple of drafts on the house.

G'Zar lifted the two elf's tankards and gave a pleading glance at Jwiz.

Jwiz: she must have mixed something wrong cause after a couple of incantations, the brew frothed and...

G'Zar: Here you go lads.

G'Zar plopped a mug infront of Ellindar and stood glaring straight into Jwiz's eyes across the bar.

Ellindar: and what?

Jwiz: G'Zar why don't you tell him...

Jwiz snickered softly as blood filled G'Zar's cheeks.

G'Zar: umm...err..

Jwiz: the flask exploded and burned off the barkeep's eyebrows, and proceeded to disintegrate all of his clothes in a matter of seconds.

G'Zar turned and walked briskly into the kitchen as the two elves clanked mugs and guffawed mightily

as the laughter died down, Ellindar tried to compose himself.

Ellindar: So G'Zar banned them from the inn.

Jwiz: Yep!

Ellindar: Do you ever hear about Hakiko?

Jwiz began to talk...the world clouding a bit as the scene slowly faded

[Slyfoot M'Zors]

( ....I want my mug back...... lol! Beautiful, just beautiful! ::Wipes tear from eye ::: Keep it up Zug. I thought that part about G'Zar's clothes was hilarious lol! )

[Jwiz]

( lol its awsome very good. hury up and make more and sly my mug now)

[Zugarok]

the smoky bar swirls into view.

Jwiz: Hakiko! Of course!

Ellindar: what do you mean of course?

Jwiz: Well, I know that you are considered quite the lady's elf...but that Hakiko...well

Ellindar winks and shoots a toothy smile at a comely human at the end of the bar and nods back to Jwiz

Ellindar: Well what...

Jwiz: well rumour is that the reason we haven't seen Hakiko lately is that he saved a grove of Maples from the axes of some dwarves near Shon-To and...

Ellindar: and what...?!?!?

Jwiz: the Nymphs that were the spirits of those trees have been rewarding him since, if you know what I mean.

Ellindar burst forth in a loud guffaw spilling his beer all over the bar. G'zar shot him a dour look and walked over with a rag to mop it up.

Ellindar: ...perhaps, if good Hakiko is feeling generous he will help our friend G'zar by giving him a pointer or two.

Jwiz clanked his mug with his friends and took a mighty swig

Ellindar: C'mon G'Zar flipping a Tunar at the barkeep surely you could help me out with stories about a few of our other friends.

G'Zar wrung the rag out and leaned over the bar, glancing at Ellindar's purse

G'Zar: well there was Aerista...

[Elindar]

Gzar: ....and Gorfel

Elindar: he was that funny dwarf right?

Gzar: yeah, what a character! I know he looked like a dwarf, but he must have had some pixie or something in him?

Elindar looked over and saw Jwiz painting the words "please poor your beer on me" on Slyfoot's forehead. He smacked his hand to his forehead and shook his head, Why me

Elindar: what do you mean by pixie?

G'Zar: Well, it seemed like he could teleport or something.

Elindar: gasps

G'Zar: One minute he would be across the bar from and the next second he would be sitting behind me with his head under the Beer spout.

Elindar looked visibly surprised

G'zar: then you'd turn around from turning the spigot and he would be standing on the bar.

Elindar and Jwiz both fell off their stools laughing. Slyfoot stirred and then fell over herself snoring loudly.

Elindar slowly regained his composure and climbed back to his seat, and brushed off his tunic. he flipped another tunar towards the bar keep.

Elindar: that was quite a good laugh. Can you tell me anything else about this phenomenom known as Gorfel?

G'zar closed one eye and peered at the ceiling with his other, seeming to think hard about this one.

G'Zar: well there was the time with the gnome.

Elindar: you mean the one's that got banished, that almost blew the place up?

G'Zar: Yes...and no, actually it was the other gnome...the magician that hung around with the mad bomber.

Elindar: What about him?

G'Zar: one minute

G'Zar looked nervously at a red headed Dark Elf woman that had just entered the door. She clearly was a priestess of Innorruuk

G'Zar: excuse me a second...Lady Nikkii...

[Zugarok]

I am sorry to say that we have to interrupt this interview due to the kidnapping of bartender G'Zar by Slith Tar defilers. If and when he returns we will switch you back to the originally scheduled intervie. Thank you for your patience. This message has been furnished by the Emergency Bardcasting System.

[Elindar]

As Slyfoot begins to sober, Elindar realizes that with G'Zar's absence a true calamity could occur...so he lifts his squire Nobel over the bar and she pours drinks for all. Elindar looks over the bar at the top of the pointy hat that is the only visible part of his squire and figures it is time to continue the interview G'Zar or no.

Elindar: Nobel...Nobel...NOBEL!!!

Nobel: Yes sir?

Elindar: Uh hum....how do you know who gets who, since you can't even see over the bar

Nobel: I just kind of guess, sir and have my elemental veil ready just incase.

Elindar looks around the bar and everyone seems ok.


Elindar: Well it seems that everyone is pretty happy. You should be happy to know that if you continue failing me as a squire, you could always make a living as a barmaid.

Elindar gasps in astonishment as the froth of the meade in his tankard begins to coagulate with ice.

Elindar: Of course you, know without having those um certain assets...i don't know how the tips would be.

An even more astonished gasp explodes as a pillar of fire erupts from the tankard. A large barbarian sitting to Elindar's right moves over and whispers in the elf's ear.

Severedamage: Ixnay on the okesjay

Nobel moves down the bar to service a group of Frogloks that had just sat down....leaving Elindar to sip his meade (ouch) and think of how he will save the day.

[Elindar]

Elindar looks down the bar and notices that where the everpresent Slyfoot was sitting a second ago was the skeleton of an elf, head resting on the bar, skeletal fingers still wrapped around the handle of a flagon covered with webs.

Elindar: Hmmm...maybe we have been here awhile.

G'Zar finally emerges from the little elf's room with a very satisfied look on his face. As he strolled towards the end of the bar he accidentally knocked Slyfoot's skeleton which crumbled in a noisy mess to the floor.

G'Zar: and she never even paid her tab.

Elindar: My squire has been keeping things going, in your ummm...absence.

G'Zar wipes his forehead.

G'Zar: Seems the ghoulash that ogre Rhabuka made doesn't agree with me too well, but what do you say to an ogre

Elindar chuckles

Elindar calls: Squire that will be enough, the good barkeep has returned.

The top of Nobel's hat: Very good sir!

G'Zar looks at the glasses with a disgusted look on his face, and begins to reclean them.

Elindar: So where were we...

G'Zar starts jingling his purse.

Elindar: Oh yes, right flips a coin over to the innkeeper

G'Zar: You were asking me about that Drood.

Elindar: I was, which one?

G'Zar: Babibo

Elindar: Babibo, I don't remember anyone by that name....

Nobel: Excuse me sir!

Elindar: Shush squire, let me think.

Nobel: Excuse me!

raises an eyebrow and glares at his insubordinate.

Nobel: I think he means Hakiko!

Elindar: Yes, that must be it...haven't seen him around in awhile.

G'Zar: I heard after the rousing sermon to Karana he started a commune.

Elindar: figures, he was kind of a treehugger. Where id this commune?

G'Zar: rolls his eyes It is said to be out near Kelinar.

Elindar: Why would he go way out there?

G'Zar: something about a tax loophole, he was trying to have his commune set up as a non-proft tax shelter.

Elindar: He was wearing some gaudy robes last I saw him...hmmm...

Elindar: While we are speaking of crazy's of the cloth...what about that Merrimekko?

G'Zar began to finger his purse once again....