Post by Rhabuka on Aug 9, 2005 15:55:37 GMT -5
(A new developer just introduced himself on the main EQOA boards in a most spectacular manner. I had to share his introduction here...)
(Note: While I may not maintain a diary like my compatriot Daemaas, I trust that a missive of an introductory nature would not go entirely amiss? Oh and Daemaas...Sapphyra said I get my own topic. So there.)
Greetings, Salutations, and Felicitations upon you all,
My Halasian counterpart, mentor, and boss Sapphyra has suggested that it would be a most excellent idea for me to introduce myself a bit further. And since she was in the process of sharpening an absurdly large axe at the time (whatever do they need TWO blades for anyways...you never swing an axe with the blade reversed, it has no power...only lumberjacks need two blades...but I digress), some alacrity is in order.
Where to begin...ah yes.
I am an Ogre.
I know what your thinking. Large teeth, nasty hair. Nasty hair on body parts. Limited sense of fashion, no sense of hygiene, and a brain the size of a walnut. While admittedly the stereotype has it's roots in certain truths, (ok, several truths. Well, a whole lot of truths. But there have been exceptions! Take my great-great-great Uncle Marquefistadon...but I digress). I would hope we could all step beyond that. Cross that threshold so to speak. Put your relatively miniscule hand in mine, and here we go...BIG step now...
You see, I am not your typical Ogre.
I'm more of an...executive Ogre.
True...I may be an Ogre Shaman, but don't think that you'll catch me wandering around wearing uncured animal furs, howling at the moon, generally carrying on like an uncivilized brute. True, I have a rather large sloping forehead...I have arms larger than you legs...I have a pet bear...and we both have a predilection for dining on meat that is rather on the rare side...but I digress...I have other qualities. Excellent qualities. Sophisticated qualities!
I have a degree in cultural anthropology and a minor in arcane sociology. I maintain a rather extensive library of books (for reading no less! NOT for kindling...). I speak several languages, some of them only spoken by the overly educated to impress each other at parties. (and why, might I inquire, are there never any comely lasses of any race, background unimportant, class no bar, who enjoy fine dining, literature, a certain level of academic discourse, preferably a graduate degree or three, and a marked interest in Ogres of the like? Are they not invited? Are they excluded but the faceless entities that throw these parties and invite me for the express purpose of seeing if I know which fork to use with fish...as if that were the defining mark of culture...these same louts who prattle endlessly about this or that theatre show but have never even read the work in it's original language...the small, squishy, spineless, pinklings...but I digress). All this and a body that Mithanial Marr wished he had as well.
Granted, I am not perfect. An experiment with a blinding spell gone awry has made me rather myopic, and it only gets worse with age. But I can say with very little bias that my spectacles combined with my recent experiments in using herbal scented grease to style my hair gives me a unique amalgamation of dignity and...oh I don't know..."flair" I suppose.
So please...the next time you see an Ogre, have a care. We are not all huge, dumb brutes. We are the product of a culture stretching back thousands of years. We have our own arts (the bone carvings are especially lovely...ok, bad example), literature (and writing in stone lends poetry a certain gravity I find), and cuisine, (Mock me if you will, but I believe there is a significant market opportunity in raw meat and fish products! I have a fantastic idea for a restaurant serving small portions of raw, flavorful, fish, freshly prepared while you watch by wildly gesticulating fellows with equally wild cutlery...but again I digress).
And if you go to far, I may have no choice but to crush you with my intellect. Eviscerate you with my razor wit. Embarrass you by revealing your utter incomprehension of the finer points of society, history, language, culture, mathematics, and literature.
Or hit you with a rock and stomp some manners into you. There's that too.
Sincerely,
Ghoelidon
ps. Why TWO blades!? It defies all logic and flies in the face of efficient weapon design...
(Note: While I may not maintain a diary like my compatriot Daemaas, I trust that a missive of an introductory nature would not go entirely amiss? Oh and Daemaas...Sapphyra said I get my own topic. So there.)
Greetings, Salutations, and Felicitations upon you all,
My Halasian counterpart, mentor, and boss Sapphyra has suggested that it would be a most excellent idea for me to introduce myself a bit further. And since she was in the process of sharpening an absurdly large axe at the time (whatever do they need TWO blades for anyways...you never swing an axe with the blade reversed, it has no power...only lumberjacks need two blades...but I digress), some alacrity is in order.
Where to begin...ah yes.
I am an Ogre.
I know what your thinking. Large teeth, nasty hair. Nasty hair on body parts. Limited sense of fashion, no sense of hygiene, and a brain the size of a walnut. While admittedly the stereotype has it's roots in certain truths, (ok, several truths. Well, a whole lot of truths. But there have been exceptions! Take my great-great-great Uncle Marquefistadon...but I digress). I would hope we could all step beyond that. Cross that threshold so to speak. Put your relatively miniscule hand in mine, and here we go...BIG step now...
You see, I am not your typical Ogre.
I'm more of an...executive Ogre.
True...I may be an Ogre Shaman, but don't think that you'll catch me wandering around wearing uncured animal furs, howling at the moon, generally carrying on like an uncivilized brute. True, I have a rather large sloping forehead...I have arms larger than you legs...I have a pet bear...and we both have a predilection for dining on meat that is rather on the rare side...but I digress...I have other qualities. Excellent qualities. Sophisticated qualities!
I have a degree in cultural anthropology and a minor in arcane sociology. I maintain a rather extensive library of books (for reading no less! NOT for kindling...). I speak several languages, some of them only spoken by the overly educated to impress each other at parties. (and why, might I inquire, are there never any comely lasses of any race, background unimportant, class no bar, who enjoy fine dining, literature, a certain level of academic discourse, preferably a graduate degree or three, and a marked interest in Ogres of the like? Are they not invited? Are they excluded but the faceless entities that throw these parties and invite me for the express purpose of seeing if I know which fork to use with fish...as if that were the defining mark of culture...these same louts who prattle endlessly about this or that theatre show but have never even read the work in it's original language...the small, squishy, spineless, pinklings...but I digress). All this and a body that Mithanial Marr wished he had as well.
Granted, I am not perfect. An experiment with a blinding spell gone awry has made me rather myopic, and it only gets worse with age. But I can say with very little bias that my spectacles combined with my recent experiments in using herbal scented grease to style my hair gives me a unique amalgamation of dignity and...oh I don't know..."flair" I suppose.
So please...the next time you see an Ogre, have a care. We are not all huge, dumb brutes. We are the product of a culture stretching back thousands of years. We have our own arts (the bone carvings are especially lovely...ok, bad example), literature (and writing in stone lends poetry a certain gravity I find), and cuisine, (Mock me if you will, but I believe there is a significant market opportunity in raw meat and fish products! I have a fantastic idea for a restaurant serving small portions of raw, flavorful, fish, freshly prepared while you watch by wildly gesticulating fellows with equally wild cutlery...but again I digress).
And if you go to far, I may have no choice but to crush you with my intellect. Eviscerate you with my razor wit. Embarrass you by revealing your utter incomprehension of the finer points of society, history, language, culture, mathematics, and literature.
Or hit you with a rock and stomp some manners into you. There's that too.
Sincerely,
Ghoelidon
ps. Why TWO blades!? It defies all logic and flies in the face of efficient weapon design...