Post by Rhabuka on Sept 6, 2006 8:15:04 GMT -5
Many members of the Horde gather in a tavern in Orgrimmar after another perilous adventure. Several of them bear a tabard of black and green. Standing over near the barkeep, a young tauren warrior has partaken in a bit too much ale. He loudly boasts to all within earshot that he is undefeated in many battles, and is ready to take on Ragnaros himself. The veterans share knowing looks and more than a few smirks. An orc shaman gulps from a tankard of ale and beckons the warrior over, then begins to speak:
There are a few things you should know before,
You strike out into the heart of Molten Core.
Gather some potions or find one who can brew,
Stitch some new clothes to keep the flames off of you.
A few good enchants and some fiery rings of gold,
Only then, young bull, can you afford to speak so bold.
The young soldier is taken aback. He scoffs at the shaman’s words and begins his boasting anew, brandishing a longsword in the air. An undead warrior with flame-kissed armor silences the lad with a withering look, and then speaks in his soft voice:
When you trek up to the mountain and knock upon the door,
You will soon learn that you are not at all welcome in the Core.
Molten giants and destroyers try to crush you underfoot,
Or knock you into the lava where you’ll burn and become soot.
Firelords spawn their minions who lick you with their flame,
And after they have kissed you, you will never be the same.
The surgers like to toss you ‘round as if you were a bug,
While annihilators drop quickly if you surround them in a hug.
Ancient core hounds are a fearsome lot with a stench worse than sin,
Before you leave their corpse behind, be sure to take their skin.
The packs of dogs will be the next to try to cause you strife,
Kill them quick, else one by one they’ll be breathing in new life.
But the worst yet are the lava packs, a nasty group of friends,
If a firewalker likes you, well, that is where your journey ends.
The young warrior sheaths his sword and sits down at a table. He did not know of all the creatures in the Core. Surely, he says, the next one I would face in there is Ragnaros himself? A druid at the end of the table laughs heartily. She turns to him, her face mostly hidden in a cowl, and says:
You are a great fool to think such beasts alone guard the firelord,
Now listen close to my next words if you wish to call yourself a Horde.
There is Lucifron to deal with, and he might take hold of your mind,
Though from what I’ve heard you say, there might be nothing there to find.
Hound Magmadar will terrify you, his jaws dripping fire and drool,
I caution you to stay away from his flaming piles of stool.
Gehennas and his naga mates bathe you in fiery rain,
Try to keep well back from that for it only causes pain.
Stalwart Garr has eight firesworn who will gladly die for him,
He will strip you of your buffs so don’t bother with a potion.
Barron Geddon thinks himself a lock and will hellfire with aplomb,
If you notice a slight ticking sound, turn and run for you’re a bomb!
That Shazzrah thinks she’s unbeatable as she blinks from here to there,
Some well-placed strikes and she will fall with lots of time to spare.
Then Sulfuron and his four priest guards need to be separated,
Take down the priests, then the beast himself ere the threat has been abated.
Golemagg the Incinerator will send his hellhounds into battle,
He hits quite hard and before the end your teeth will surely rattle.
Majordomo sits in a great circle of friends wherein you’ll make a dent,
He speaks brave words though once he’s alone, the coward will relent.
The young warrior’s throat had gone dry, and he swallows. There is a lot more to this awful place than he had expected. A tall Troll priest with a glowing staff nods sagely and pats the bull on the shoulder:
After all the fighting’s through and in case you’re getting bored,
A whimpering Majordomo runs to summon the firelord.
You’d best hope that you are prepared for such a mighty foe,
He will spare you no quarter as he seeks a killing blow.
When he descends into the lava don’t be calling him a jerk,
Just look around, you’ll see he’s sent his sons to do his work.
To have a chance against Ragnaros, you cannot hope to fight alone,
You need friends to help you knock his ass off of his fiery throne.
The troll smiles then, and gestures at the folk gathered around him. The tauren warrior nods slowly, and smiles back.
For the Horde!
There are a few things you should know before,
You strike out into the heart of Molten Core.
Gather some potions or find one who can brew,
Stitch some new clothes to keep the flames off of you.
A few good enchants and some fiery rings of gold,
Only then, young bull, can you afford to speak so bold.
The young soldier is taken aback. He scoffs at the shaman’s words and begins his boasting anew, brandishing a longsword in the air. An undead warrior with flame-kissed armor silences the lad with a withering look, and then speaks in his soft voice:
When you trek up to the mountain and knock upon the door,
You will soon learn that you are not at all welcome in the Core.
Molten giants and destroyers try to crush you underfoot,
Or knock you into the lava where you’ll burn and become soot.
Firelords spawn their minions who lick you with their flame,
And after they have kissed you, you will never be the same.
The surgers like to toss you ‘round as if you were a bug,
While annihilators drop quickly if you surround them in a hug.
Ancient core hounds are a fearsome lot with a stench worse than sin,
Before you leave their corpse behind, be sure to take their skin.
The packs of dogs will be the next to try to cause you strife,
Kill them quick, else one by one they’ll be breathing in new life.
But the worst yet are the lava packs, a nasty group of friends,
If a firewalker likes you, well, that is where your journey ends.
The young warrior sheaths his sword and sits down at a table. He did not know of all the creatures in the Core. Surely, he says, the next one I would face in there is Ragnaros himself? A druid at the end of the table laughs heartily. She turns to him, her face mostly hidden in a cowl, and says:
You are a great fool to think such beasts alone guard the firelord,
Now listen close to my next words if you wish to call yourself a Horde.
There is Lucifron to deal with, and he might take hold of your mind,
Though from what I’ve heard you say, there might be nothing there to find.
Hound Magmadar will terrify you, his jaws dripping fire and drool,
I caution you to stay away from his flaming piles of stool.
Gehennas and his naga mates bathe you in fiery rain,
Try to keep well back from that for it only causes pain.
Stalwart Garr has eight firesworn who will gladly die for him,
He will strip you of your buffs so don’t bother with a potion.
Barron Geddon thinks himself a lock and will hellfire with aplomb,
If you notice a slight ticking sound, turn and run for you’re a bomb!
That Shazzrah thinks she’s unbeatable as she blinks from here to there,
Some well-placed strikes and she will fall with lots of time to spare.
Then Sulfuron and his four priest guards need to be separated,
Take down the priests, then the beast himself ere the threat has been abated.
Golemagg the Incinerator will send his hellhounds into battle,
He hits quite hard and before the end your teeth will surely rattle.
Majordomo sits in a great circle of friends wherein you’ll make a dent,
He speaks brave words though once he’s alone, the coward will relent.
The young warrior’s throat had gone dry, and he swallows. There is a lot more to this awful place than he had expected. A tall Troll priest with a glowing staff nods sagely and pats the bull on the shoulder:
After all the fighting’s through and in case you’re getting bored,
A whimpering Majordomo runs to summon the firelord.
You’d best hope that you are prepared for such a mighty foe,
He will spare you no quarter as he seeks a killing blow.
When he descends into the lava don’t be calling him a jerk,
Just look around, you’ll see he’s sent his sons to do his work.
To have a chance against Ragnaros, you cannot hope to fight alone,
You need friends to help you knock his ass off of his fiery throne.
The troll smiles then, and gestures at the folk gathered around him. The tauren warrior nods slowly, and smiles back.
For the Horde!
