Feedback for Gaien's Journey

[Gaien]

My dear guild members,

I take much pride in being a small part of this guild and the resources it provides for me. I veiw this as not only an EQOA guild, but as a writers guild. As such, I would like to ask for any constructive criticism that you might have to offer so that I might be able to improve as a writer, as well as any imput or general remarks you might have. Thanks!

[Halfoot]

I read your character's history at the census office and thought I should begin there.

I liked that the human baby was raised by elves. Just by that, it made the story different from other stories where humans were raised by their human parents.

And i like that because it provides conflict in the character, when he finds out he is different, and not an elf. Like crying or something.

As a human who lived with elfs, he might look at life differently than other humans.

[Gaien]

Thank you Zoom,

Being raised by elves, specificly elven rangers, influenced Gaien's life in many ways. He trys to look at things in the 'long-term' most of the time, but it conflicts with his brash human side sometimes. Elves view things in trems of decades and centuries, but humans don't live that long. While Gaien grasps the ideals of these concepts, he has a hard time following them, prefering to live in the 'now'

[Cheron]

I have read a bit on Gaien's Journey and I must say that it is very well written. I like the fact that the emotions are so well played out in the story. One thing that always makes stories enteresting is the emotions of the characters, how they are feeling, what they are thinking..

It is rare that an accurate description of emotions are played out, simply because they can be very difficult to describe in words. You, Sir Gaien, have done a very fine job at doing this. I bow to your roleplaying skills.

*bows slightly inclining her head in recognition before stepping out of the area*

[Gaien]

Thanks Cheron!

Emotions are very difficult, IMHO, to accurately describe and the ones I have managed to detail, still arn't as descriptive as I want them to be! Thanks again.

[Rhabuka]

I'm quite happy to have discussions about people's stories. That would help me as a writer as well!

I have really enjoyed Gaien's Journey. Your writing style is fluid, your choice of words and your descriptions are well thought out. The dialogue is great and easily 'heard' in the mind. One thing I think you do very well is use lots of detail without telling the reader exactly what they should be thinking and feeling. There's plenty there to imagine what is going on, but you leave enough to interpretation. Not an easy feat but you do it well and consistently. The other characters in the story all serve a purpose, which is great.

I'm very interested to see where this "Reaper" storyline is headed. I think of Gaien as a noble character, but it sounds like you intend to shake up his world a bit!

I would provide constructive criticism if I could, but I honestly can't think of anything. Other than perhaps writing more

[Gaien]

Awww, Rhabuka, you're too kind. Thank you very much for the positive feedback ;D

Gaien (at least as I write/play him) is indeed a very noble person who strives to be almost like the knights of old. His internal struggle with the 'Reaper' should realy help define him even further, but it's quite the challenge to write out correctly.

I know it's been a few weeks since I've posted on that SL, but I'm hoping to continue it soon ;D Who knows what will happen? Besides, Tollkin didn't write the Lord of the Rings in a few months ya know ;D

Thanks again, and if anyone can think of something to help inprove my writing, feel free to post!!

[Edrilith]

I like how Gaien's upbringing has affected him. I think that being raised in a culture very different from your own provides for some interesting ideas and opportunities.

I imagine it's the same for this character -- a half elf growing up among humans, and then among Tier Dal. After your character sorts through his Reaper issues and mine ditches the dark elves, maybe one day their paths will cross.

[Gaien]

Perhaps indeed our paths shall cross one day. I thank you for your kind words ;D